Bina Idonije’s “Bridges Are For Burning” Nails the Messiness of Modern Love

Modern love is complicated. It’s messy, nuanced, often unspoken, and in Bridges Are For Burning, we’re taken on a searing emotional journey that captures all its complexities. Set against the backdrop of Lagos society, Oghogho ‘Gigi’ Dempster’s story is one of female friendship, impulsive choices, and the high cost of burning bridges that once held us together. This debut novel is remarkably relatable, with its authentic characters and emotionally resonant narrative, which dismantles the realities many Nigerian women, particularly millennial women, face in their daily lives: the compromises between love and loyalty, beauty and validation, and sisterhood and survival. A Story That Feels Familiar and Personal From the very first chapter, Gigi’s emotional state feels familiar. She’s almost 31, single, and laser-focused on her social media company. But it’s the night before Valentine’s Day, and with her best friend Alana pregnant and her sister Fifi married into wealth, Gigi finds herself looking something fleeting: connection, desire, even if only for one night. That decision is the pivot upon which the story hinges. The effects fan out into every area of her life, and before the dust has a chance to settle, everything is different.What’s interesting about this book isn’t the drama; it’s just how close it feels. The feelings are naked, the dialogue mirroring what many of us think but do not say out loud. I felt as if I was listening in on a WhatsApp voice note between two best friends who are having a late-night rant. The words, thoughts, and doubts all resonated.  The Beautiful and the Betrayed Gigi and Alana’s friendship is what the book is centered around. Built on childhood memories but heavily influenced by beauty politics and unspoken rivalry, it is a powerful yet familiar conviction: that the most beautiful among us will have the best, especially when it comes to men.But then, what if beauty is in danger? When does the “not-so-beautiful” friend get the chance to have what the pretty one desires? In the case of Gigi, lust prevails. Even when she knew the risk and that her decision could end her friendship with Alana forever, she took the risk anyway. Her betrayal is quick but deliberate, and that may be what hurts so much. There’s a silent power in seeing her choose herself, even if the price is devastating.It forces us to ask: is there such a thing as an unforgivable betrayal in today’s love? And when women are raised in a culture that consistently puts them against each other, can we blame them when they break under pressure? When Marriages Are Built on Secrets While Gigi and Alana’s friendship carries the emotional weight of the story, the marriages depicted are no less telling. Fifi, Gigi’s older sister, marries young into wealth, seemingly living the Nigerian dream. But the facade crumbles quickly. Beneath the glamour lies mistreatment, loneliness, and a disillusionment many women know too well. Alana’s marriage to Benjamin, the “love of her life,” is not so flawless either. Hidden secrets, emotional inadequacies, and unspoken resentments haunt their union. The contrast between public and private life is stark, a commentary on how relationships today are often choreographed to achieve social validation but often suffer in silence. Both unions tell a sober story: that love is not sufficient. That money, beauty, or fame cannot save you from being cheated, ignored, or regretted. These girls made sacrifices, sometimes prioritising others’ convenience over their joy. And in the end, they are left to face the quiet consequences. What I Learned From Bridges Are For Burning What stands out most about this book is its title: Bridges Are For Burning. In a culture that values reconciliation, respect, and maintaining appearances, choosing to burn a bridge feels radical. Gigi’s decision is just as radical. A rebellion in some sense and a rejection that follows with quiet suffering. A choice to own her life, even if it means losing what once mattered. It’s a painful truth, but a relevant one: modern love sometimes requires destruction before growth. We’re not all meant to preserve every relationship. Some bridges must burn for clarity, for healing, for a chance to rebuild on stronger foundations.This is probably the most enduring message the book leaves us with. That in love, especially that which puts our loyalties and friendships to the test, we must be honest enough to choose ourselves. And hard enough to endure what comes next. The novel does not have fairy-tale endings. It doesn’t tie everything up neatly. And that is okay. Life isn’t always put together either. Bridges Are For Burning is a gritty, somewhat agonizing, but honest examination of love in its modern form, defective, spontaneous, and human.Whether you can identify with Gigi’s longing, Alana’s dishonesty, or Fifi’s unspoken agony, you’ll find that this book is not far from our modern reality. You’ll feel the tension of requiring more but fearing what “more” will cost. And perhaps you’ll come out wondering the same questions the characters have to face:How far is too far for love? What makes a friendship truly unbreakable? And when is it finally time to burn the bridge and walk away—for good?Price: ₦10,000, Where To Buy: Shop Roving Heights.