Damilare Kuku on What Inspires Her to Write in Today’s “Doing Life With…”

Doing Life With… is a BellaNaija Features series that showcases how people live, work, travel, care for their families and… everything in between. We are documenting the lives of all people and ensuring everyone is well-represented at BN.
Did you miss our last conversation with Monica Oyasor? You can catch up here.
Today, we’re doing life with Damilare Kuku, the author of the critically acclaimed Nearly All Men In Lagos Are Mad and Only Big BumBum Matters Tomorrow. Her third book, Women Rent Men and Secrets Here, is forthcoming.
Enjoy the conversation!

Hello Damilare. How are you feeling today?

Hello! I feel great. My new book, Women Rent Men and Secrets Here, has me feeling giddy and blessed. I have three books with international deals. God is really amazing! I thank God and the people who support me for the life I live now.
Congratulations!
Thank you.
Let’s start from the very beginning: where were you born, and what kind of child were you? Is there a part of that childhood that shaped you into who you are today?
I was born in Lagos. I have always been an introvert. But I was also very funny. My family members think I am hilarious, so maybe someday I will do a comedy special. I can be a prankster, too. It just depends on the day. I loved reading; books just make everything better. So the first book I ever read was the Bible – the one with pictures and I just felt so much peace. Reading the Bible and African literature made me find my happy place as a creative.

For some writers, writing occurs to them as a response to something: to self, to people, to society. When did you first realise you could write? Not just for fun, but in a way that could move people
Thank you for that kind compliment. The truth is, I am always surprised at how much impact my words have on people. I remember writing a letter to a niece of mine who passed at a young age. I wrote something for her, and I think my mum and aunt saw it. I don’t recall if they cried per se, but my mother, who had spent many years encouraging me to write poems, was really moved.
With my third book, Women Rent Men, as I like to call it, I share with readers why written words mean so much more to me. I have always hidden behind words, and it turns out that hiding moves people because they see themselves in what I write. My books have shown me that the world is truly a global village.
Your debut, Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad, became a cultural moment. Was there an experience from your personal life that influenced the writing of the book, or that seeped into the book?
Fun fact- I have a revised edition of Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad coming soon with a fresh story. It will be published by TBLNG Press. Generally, there are no personal experiences in NATMILAM, both the old and newer versions. I will never give anyone who shows me pepper that level of exposure.
Books are forever, I don’t need anyone thinking they did something that marked me permanently, and I had to write about it. It’s never that serious. I learn from situations and keep it moving. No need to put that into any of my books.
However, I hide behind words. I write what feels too heavy for my mouth to say. So NATMILAM is a love letter to all the people in my life whom I know love has hurt. Since they have cried about it, I might as well make them laugh. Comedy makes pain an easier pill to swallow.

At some point, there was criticism on social media that your fiction “wasn’t literary enough.” Do you think there’s pressure to write in a particular way to be taken seriously as a Nigerian author? If you could respond to that criticism now, but from a place of reflection, what would you say?
Criticism is an essential part of my art. I don’t have a problem with being criticised. I can’t relate to that phrase “not literary enough”. It’s like saying an albino that is of Nigerian descent is not Nigerian enough because their skin is milky.
Nigerians come in different shades, accents, tribes and sizes. It doesn’t take away from who they are at their core. Same as literature. Pressure is my best friend. I welcome it, but it doesn’t dictate how I live my life. Otherwise, I would have had seventeen children by now with a husband who has a beer belly. I live my life according to my rules. That reflects even in my writing.
I once heard someone call you, Damilare BumBum, referring to your book. So to speak, you have been attached to your work. I’m sure people would like to know who Damilare Kuku is, not the writer, but the Damilare Kuku
Damilare is still finding herself, so anyone who wants to know has to join her on that journey. Once I reach their bus stop, I will let them know so they can hop in.
I love that my books are bigger than I am. I will sometimes be in a room and people are talking about my books, and it just humbles me. God called me to write, and He is doing the PR as well. I am just here to enjoy the show.

You studied Dramatic Arts and Theatre Arts, had appeared in some movies. Please tell us about your Nollywood journey, and if the dream still exists
The dream still exists. It was just on the back burner because writing took over my life. I have had some producers reach out, it’s just timing.
When you look back on your life so far, what moment feels like a turning point? And what does your next chapter look like?
The moment God decided to take over my career by giving me NATMILAM, Bumbum and Women Rent Men. Writing has improved me as a human, humbled me as a creative and levelled up my life generally.
What does a typical day look like for you?
Yesterday, I was in church. Then I went lamb chops hunting, met up with my people, and I mostly tried to stop myself from finishing the bottle of groundnut in my fridge. Today, I am meeting with my team to discuss Women rent Men and later on, I am going cheese tasting. I may play tennis later on.
My day-to-day is normal. My books and art are the stars; I am just a girl living my best life.

As someone who knows a thing or two about Lagos, what’s the most Lagos thing about you?
I am always looking for the best deals. I will eat at a five-star restaurant with their prices boldly written on their menu, and I will still ask if they give discounts. To put it in a more Lagosian way, I can price anything. E no concern me.
What’s something you do really well that has nothing to do with writing or acting?
I am a pretty good cook!
Is there a guilty pleasure you don’t feel guilty about?
Guilt is not in my vocabulary. If I feel like doing something, I do it. After losing four loved ones back to back in four years, I am living life as I deem fit.
Thank you for being on Doing Life With…, Damilare
Thank you for having me.
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Many thanks to Damilare Kuku for having this conversation with us and answering all our questions – and swiftly too, we must add.
Do you love this content, have any feedback for us or want to be a BellaNaija Features contributor? We’d love to read from you. Shoot us an email: features@bellanaija.com. Join us on Saturday for the next episode!
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