Planning for a typical Nigerian wedding – Who should bear the cost?

In Nigeria, weddings are not just ceremonies; they’re full-blown festivals. There’s often a lot to do and talk about in weddings, but one topic that often arises is who should bear the cost of a Nigerian wedding? As straightforward as this question may sound, its answer often causes disagreements and fights in different marriages. We understand the confusion it can cause, and that’s why we’re sharing our opinion. Let’s talk about the financing of Nigerian weddings. The Traditional Expectation ALSO READ: 22 stunning civil court wedding dresses for Nigerian brides-to-be In many Nigerian cultures, especially among the Yoruba, Igbo, and Hausa-Fulanis, there is a long-standing tradition where the groom’s family foots the bill for the marriage rites. This includes all expenses from the bride price and traditional wedding items to the traditional marriage ceremony itself. But when it comes to the white wedding (the church or mosque ceremony and reception), it gets a little more complicated. Traditionally, it is expected that the groom’s family handles most of the expenses, while the bride’s family contributes or takes responsibility for specific items, such as the wedding gown, bridal shower, and certain family logistics. Modern Reality: Shared Costs and Negotiations These days, with rising wedding costs and changing social norms, many Nigerian couples and families are leaning towards shared responsibilities. Here’s how it typically plays out in modern settings: The couple themselves often take the lead on expenses for the white wedding, especially if they’re both financially stable.The groom’s family may handle the bride price, the traditional wedding, and the major wedding reception expenses.The bride’s family might contribute by covering the cost of the engagement party, bridal attire, or family travel logistics. Some families split costs based on agreements reached during marriage introduction meetings, a pre-wedding family negotiation session common in many cultures. Factors That Influence Who Pays As expected, with the rising cost of living, most families now prefer to share the financial burden that comes with marriage. However, several factors determine how the costs are shared. Below are some of them. Family wealth and social standing: In wealthy families, it’s not uncommon for one side to handle most expenses as a show of goodwill or family pride.Number of guests: Nigerian weddings are notoriously large. When the guest list reaches 500 people or more, handling such large numbers often requires families to step in and ease the load.Location and logistics: Destination weddings or events in highbrow venues often demand joint funding.Couple’s preference: Some modern couples, especially those living abroad, prefer intimate ceremonies fully funded by themselves. The Unspoken Pressure ALSO READ: Forget jollof rice – Here are 5 dishes you shouldn’t miss at a Nigerian wedding In Nigeria, weddings aren’t just about two people. They’re often about families, community status, and even bragging rights. This unspoken pressure can drive families to go over budget, take loans, or over-extend themselves just to impress. It’s not unusual for one family to cover certain bills just to avoid being seen as “stingy” or unable to match expectations, especially when the other family is wealthier or more socially influential. Conclusion The reality is that things are quickly changing from what they used to be. Modern marriages are evolving, with young Nigerian couples opting to finance their weddings themselves. This approach gives them more control over the size, style, and guest list without extended family interference. What do you think should be the ideal way to plan a wedding?